Narcissism. Unilateral Decisions. Inflexibility. Hostility. Disrespect. Revenge. These are all examples of terrible co-parenting strategies.
Not only will these attitudes cause conflict between you and your ex, but they will inevitably also harm your children in the process. Yet many people approach their co-parenting relationships with these tendencies based on their failed marital relationships. If you expect to have a successful co-parenting relationship, you cannot act, communicate or think the same way in regard to your ex as you did while you were together. Instead, think of co-parenting as a completely new and different relationship than your marriage.
Co-Parenting Strategies To Maintain A Peaceful Coexistence
How You Act Toward Your Ex
- Honor the agreed-upon custody or visitation arrangements.
- Be on time – with drop-offs, child support payments, your kid’s events, etc.
- Be professional. Be civil. Be polite.
- Listen well; don’t make assumptions.
- Don’t fight in front of the kids or put them in the middle.
- Don’t speak poorly about your ex to the kids.
How You Communicate With Your Ex
- Ask clarifying questions.
- Be concise. Be clear. Be upfront and honest.
- Communicate regularly to keep your ex informed.
- Stay on topic; avoid making personal statements.
- Choose your words and tone carefully.
- Use a neutral communication tool if needed.
How You Think About Your Ex
- Focus on the kids. They always come first.
- Leave the past in the past; focus on the present and future.
- Look for a compromise whenever possible.
- Give yourself time to think before responding.
- Winning isn’t everything. Your kid’s happiness is.
Despite your best efforts to act kindly, communicate well and have a great attitude, you cannot control how your ex handles co-parenting. If you and your children are in a toxic co-parenting situation a family law attorney may be able to help you. The Charlotte Christian Law is the best in the Huntsville / Northern Alabama region. We specialize in child custody and child support and we want to fight to get the best outcome for you and your children. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and learn about your legal options.
For more helpful information on successful co-parenting, check out our other posts:
3 Best Kept Secrets to Successful Co-Parenting
Co-Parenting and your Child’s Sports After Divorce
5 Co-Parenting Tips for When You and Your Ex Don’t Get Along
4 Ways To Be A Better Parent After Divorce