Here we are, right in the midst of the holiday season – a time that should be full of joy and fun but many times is more stressful and sad than anything else. Particularly for families of divorce. Whether you’re in the process of divorcing, are already divorced, or are just contemplating a divorce, this season can be a tough one, especially for your children.
But you know what? It doesn’t have to be a sad or stressful time for the children, if the grownups will make the choice to give their children the Best Gift. You may be wondering, what is the Best Gift and how much does it cost? Can I afford it? What if my ex-spouse gives it first? Great news! You can afford to give it to every one of your children and, if your ex-spouse gives it first, that’s even better! Truth be told, you can’t afford NOT to give it!
The Best Gift doesn’t come in shapes, sizes or colors and isn’t wrapped in pretty paper, ribbons and bows. It won’t fit under the tree or in a stocking and you can’t buy it online or in a local store. But it will put the biggest smile on your children’s faces and peace in their hearts. It will even help them get a better night’s sleep.
Sound too good to be true? It’s not, but it does require parents to take a step back from the anger, hurt, bitterness, and resentment that they may feel toward their former (or soon to be former) spouse. It’s natural to operate out of fear when you’re divorcing, or are recently divorced. Fear that you’ll lose your children’s love, fear that your former spouse can afford to buy more for your children, fear that your children will love their other parent more than they love you, and the list goes on. Any of these fears may cause parents to act in ways that make their children feel stressed, or like they have to choose one parent over the other.
Divorce During Holidays: The Best Gift Is The Support You Give
Here’s what makes the Best Gift so great! It’s simply this: you know how much YOU love your children, right? Well the Best Gift you can give them is permission and encouragement to love their other parent, too. Giving the Best Gift means that your children will feel safe and secure in their ability and right to love both of their parents. It will mean that they don’t have to hold their breath or be worried about what will happen if both Mom and Dad show up at the holiday party at school. They won’t have to worry about hurting Mom’s feelings if they enjoy going out for pizza with Dad. And if something fun or funny happens while they’re with Mom, they will feel perfectly comfortable telling Dad about the funny story. Giving your children the Best Gift guarantees that they will feel less stressed and confused and more loved by both of their parents. The Best Gift will allow them to just be children and not feel responsible for the adults in their lives.
That’s not to say that they don’t still want a pretty package or two under the tree. But, I believe that if you asked almost any child of any age, whose parents are divorced, if they’d like to receive the Best Gift from their parents this year, the answer would be a resounding YES! As a giver of the Best Gift, I think you’ll find it to be the gift that truly does keep on giving.
Be blessed in this holiday season.