There is always a Silver Lining in not-so-pleasant situations. Even divorce. No matter how hard changes in our life might be, there are some good things between all the bad.
As the common saying goes: “Getting divorced sucks, being divorced is great.” So, instead of always focusing on the bad side, we decided to discuss a bit of the perk you may get when you divorce.
Perks Of Being Divorced
A Bed All For Yourself & A Better Night’s Sleep
If there is one common complaint between couples is not getting the best quality sleep. Maybe your partner snored, liked to leave the TV on till the after-hours, moved around too much, or had to wake up much earlier than you.
No matter how connected couples can get to be, this seems to be a very common issue that you will no longer have to worry about. Think about it, now might be the best time to get a full night’s sleep.
You’ll No Longer Have To Pretend You Like Your In-Laws
Some people are lucky enough to get along with their in-laws, it might not be the most common thing. As Thriving Sistas put it :
Next time there is a celebratory dinner for that obnoxious brother-in-law who could never manage to keep his eyes or his hands off your backside – guess what? You don’t have to go! And as for that mother-in-law who was always that teensy bit judgemental of you – you have no obligation there now either!
You’ll Reconnect With Friends & Family
Having your spouse as a priority might mean you have little or no time to see other important people in your life as often. But now, you’ll not only have more time, but complete freedom to decide what to do with it.
You’ll Get More Time For Yourself
Of course, going through a divorce is rough and you might need time to pamper yourself, go to the salon, get your hair done, etc. The best part is that you’ll also have time to focus on your mental health: meditate, take a yoga class, write a journal.
You’ll Get Full Control Of Your Finances
This could be daunting at first, however, think about it. It’s empowering to have complete control over your finances. Of course, you’ll need to figure out a couple of things with your ex first.
But once that’s done, you will no longer need to explain your consumer decisions to anyone or have to agree on every important financial move.
You Can Get The Pet That You Want
Maybe you’re a cat person and your ex was a dog one. Sometimes, they might have terrible allergies. Maybe, you both decided he should get the dog custody
Whatever the reason you have for getting a new pet, you will not have to consult it with anyone, except maybe the landlord. If it can fit in your space and is within your budget, you can make the arrangements to adopt a new furry buddy.
Having time for yourself and getting to know yourself better in this period of your life can be the best perk of all. Keep some of the positives in mind before focusing on the negative.
More Time To Relax
YES! It’s easier for most people to relax when they are by themselves. Marriage comes with many responsibilities. If it’s not worrying about dinner, it’s dropping children to school and scheduling time for your partner in between. After a separation, there’s less pressure with fewer members of the household.
Even if you get custody, there will be one less person to worry about. The time you would spend with your spouse on a daily basis becomes free time to be channeled to relaxation or whatever else you wish to do. If you never have time for yourself, you may finally have time to focus on yourself.
Married couples must abide by some rules. For instance, it would be impossible, let alone irresponsible, to go for a night out with friends in many cases. Married couples are constantly thinking about family and rarely have time to be adventurous. If you haven’t had time to just do what you want at a moment’s notice, separation will remove such limits.
Once your duties as a spouse are over, you can do as you please. A night out with friends is no longer an issue. You could even buy something expensive impromptu without being answerable to anyone. If you don’t have custody, you can get home late or even show up the next day without worrying about offending anyone or being judged.
More Drive To Chase Dreams
Most people lack the motivation to go after their dreams until something significant happens in their life. A divorce could be that final push needed to get up and work on your dreams relentlessly.
In fact, your spouse may have been your limiting factor. Sometimes those around us are the ones that limit us or discourage us from following our desires. After divorce, you may have the free time to put all your time and energy into passionate projects without being limited in any way.
Getting Rid Of Abuse
Divorce is good if you are getting away from an abusive relationship. Some people may become more fixated on working on a relationship that they overlook abuse. There’s nothing wrong with divorcing a spouse who abuses you physically or emotionally.
While marriage is meant to be a lifetime bond, this shouldn’t be mistaken to mean you should ignore abuse. While leaving an abusive spouse who you love may seem painful, the psychological benefits outweigh the pros of trying to fix a broken marriage.
Improves Relationship With An Ex
Most divorced couples who finalize their divorce but are forced to be in constant communication because of circumstances (i.e., co-parenting) tend to get along in the end. When co-parenting is done the right way, it fosters respect and mutual understanding.
With the focus purely on the best interests of your children, some couples may find they are better off as friends than as couples. If you’ve tried everything to have a functional relationship with your ex in vain, divorce can make things better.
There’s a general consensus that children grow well in a functional household with two parents. However, co-parenting still produces great children, especially if the parents were constantly arguing when they were together.
Children who constantly witness quarreling and abuse tend to suffer psychologically. It is better to leave if your attempts to salvage your marriage will affect your kid’s mental health. What’s more, the perks of separation, like working on yourself, will positively impact your parenting.
If you start working out after a divorce to improve yourself, get rid of stress, etc., your health is bound to improve. A miserable marriage has negative effects on your mental health and wellness. Besides engaging in unhealthy habits like drinking, overeating, oversleeping, etc., to cope, your mental health is also bound to deteriorate.
In fact, some studies prove that conflict in a marriage is worse for a person’s health and wellness than if they separate. This includes an increased risk of suffering from cancer, heart diseases, diabetes, and depression.
Divorce can be great for retirement. Existing in an unhappy marriage is expensive. Some studies showing the effects of earnings claim that women’s earnings increase after divorce if they don’t remarry. Generally, such women delay drawing benefits resulting in higher earnings than those enjoyed by their married counterparts.
From a financial independence standpoint, some studies claim divorce is better for women. What’s more, divorce can make someone eligible for some benefits. This applies mostly to individuals married for over a decade and are aged 62 or more years. Married individuals must wait until their spouses claim benefits. This isn’t the case for divorcees. Also, claiming spousal benefits doesn’t negatively affect your ex’s monthly pay-out as well as the pay-out of a current spouse if you remarry.
You’ll Discover Your True Friends
It’s common knowledge that true friends are identified in times of crisis. Separation forces fake friends to show their true colors. If some in-laws or other married couples didn’t really like you, they won’t have to pretend anymore. Whoever supports you through your divorce journey is the one you should categorize as a real friend.
While divorce is generally a painful experience, there are unexpected benefits you can enjoy. However, most benefits should be enjoyed carefully. Perks like freedom can create more harm than good for you going forward. It’s never advisable to do whatever you like. You should “ground” yourself, take time to heal, consult professionals like marriage counselors and divorce lawyers, and take other important measures to ensure you make informed decisions moving forward.
Having support from close family and friends is critical. Don’t get rid of accountability mechanisms just because you can now do whatever you want. A divorce attorney will also come in handy in demystifying the legal perks of divorce that may come to haunt you. For instance, indulging too much after divorce may work against you in a custody case, making it easier for your ex to win custody.
Have you found any other perks from your divorce? Please, leave them in the comments.