You don’t have to wait til the New Year to make resolutions focused on bettering your life if you are recently divorced.
Take a deep sigh of relief, the worst is over and now it’s time to move forward. As the saying goes, “The only person you can control is yourself.” Being recently divorced, that may ring true in a variety of ways, but take it as positive encouragement to make the most out of your newfound singleness. If you have kids, yes they are important, but to give them the best, you have to be at your best. Best doesn’t mean perfect. Take each day one day at a time and use these three simple resolutions to find your best self.
1. Take Time for Self Care
First of all, it’s important to work through the lingering emotions that you inevitably have being recently divorced. If you are struggling to move past these emotions, speaking with a professional therapist is an excellent way to process and overcome any remaining anger, guilt, frustration, and hurt.
The stress of being recently divorced and starting over can take a toll on your emotional and physical health. Find stress-relieving techniques that you can use throughout the day.
Make self-care a priority on a regular basis. Do things you enjoy. Try new things. Get together with friends. Go for walks. Play sports. Read a book. Whatever it looks like for you, take time to take care of yourself.
2. Take the High Road
According to John C. Maxwell there are three roads that we can take in life:
The low road – where we treat people worse than they treat us
The middle road – where we treat people the same as they treat us
The high road – where we treat people better than they treat us
“There aren’t many people who would admit to taking the low road, but I’m sure that many would admit to taking the middle road, treating people the same as they treat us. Whilst there is good reason for this, I would advocate always taking the high road. You see, taking the middle road suggests that we change our response according to how people treat us. If someone treats us poorly, treat them poorly. If someone treats us well, treat them well. If most people do this, then we end up with a society where all we do is respond to life, rather than positively impact it,” says Life Coach Darren Poke.
In any interactions with your ex, choose to fly above any petty arguments, resentment, and anger. You – who you are, your integrity, your values – are more important than having the last word or engaging in negativity. Years from now, when you look back at this time in your life, you can either look back with regret or with satisfaction, knowing you handled a really difficult time in your life with dignity and integrity.
3. Take Control of Your Future
Don’t waste time dwelling on the past, but use your experiences to propel you toward a better future. Learn from the mistakes you made and choose to not make them again. If you are recently divorced, this is a great time to rediscover what you are passionate about, what brings you joy, and even find renewed purpose in life.
Maybe you’re not quite there yet, but you find yourself on the verge of divorce. These three principles can apply to your life right now. Your first step in living out these resolutions might be to speak with a family law attorney who can explain your options and who understands where you’re coming from. If you still aren’t sure that divorce is the right path for you, read these 4 Things To Do Before Initiating A Divorce.