Let’s just start by acknowledging that divorce isn’t for the faint of heart. Instead, it comes steeped in difficult situations to sort through, frustrating feelings to process, and the aftermath of picking up the pieces of life can just be messy! But as you’re working to figure out how to move on after divorce, one of the most difficult parts of the process can be figuring out how to deal with the anger you feel.
Where Did That Come From?
As you attempt to move on after divorce, you may find yourself responding in ways that are unlike your ‘normal’ reactions. This is often due to some combination of emotions, which may include:
These are normal reactions to accompany divorce, but when experienced simultaneously, they create a toxic concoction that can bubble up during moments of stress, or remembrance, to explode additional feelings of low self-worth, insecurity, emptiness, fear, uncertainty, and anger.
Some people never heal from a divorce due to anger at the unfair outcome. Contact The Alabama Law Group today to schedule a consultation with a caring, highly qualified legal professional to ensure that your divorce is handled with your best interests at heart.
Redeem Your Reactions
You may be feeling angry that you have been treated unfairly by the court systems, wrongly accused by your ex, maybe they cheated or lied, or have been underhanded thus far in the divorce proceedings. Perhaps your outlaws… erm, in-laws… were awful, and your marriage just didn’t play out the way you had hoped nor planned. Maybe you haven’t gotten the custodial agreement you desired, or the division of assets and liabilities has been upsetting.
You have a right to feel angry.
However, if you choose to remain and wallow around in that dark pit of muck and mire of what once was, not only will you allow that negativity to slowly redefine who you are and how you look at life, but you’ll also lose the opportunity to learn and grow as a person and miss out on the possibilities of what now could be.
When you choose to face those feelings – intimidating, though that may seem – and choose to take the time necessary to regain your equilibrium, you’ll find that it is possible to unhook yourself from the chains of those emotions and move forward again.
Don’t Go It Alone
All that can be easier said that done. Don’t expect to just flip a switch and suddenly all is right with the world again. It will take time. Small, daily steps will eventually get you to where you need to be. But even daily choices can be hard to make if you’re left to do it all by yourself. You must choose to surround yourself with people who are willing to walk this road with you; those who genuinely care for your well-being; friends who will remind you that you must lead with healthy choices, and eventually healthy feelings will follow.
Building that kind of environment around you, whether it’s made up of family, close friends, co-workers, neighbors, and/or a recovery group, will help keep you on track, reminding you of all the good that still exists in your world. Allow your support network to nudge you forward. Let them speak to your struggles in honest and helpful ways. If they find you ruminating on all the infuriating conditions of your situation, and they push you to move forward, listen to them.
You Can Move On After Divorce
Benjamin Franklin once said, “While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.” As you’re dealing with the difficulties of divorce, realize that holding on to negative emotions related to the ending of this chapter will only serve to steal the joy from the beginning of the next.
Don’t allow anger to rob you of what you need to move on after divorce. Choose to break free with the help of quality people around you and with the help of a trusted divorce attorney who will fight for your best interest and strive to minimize your emotional and legal conflicts as much as possible. Remember, this is just a season. Connect with Charlotte Christian with the Alabama Law Group to make sure it doesn’t last any longer than it has to.